“Listen, there comes a time in a man’s life when he makes a decision to just live, to survive or he wants to win…”
Teddy Atlas
It’s only the middle of the 8th round but things aren’t looking good. We can see it in our guy, he’s not putting anything behind his punches, it’s like he’s trying to make an unspoken pact with the other guy, “I won’t hit you hard if you promise in return to not hit me hard.” Except the other guy’s not interested. He’s throwing shots with bad intentions. Fortunately our guy’s still fast enough to slip past most of them, but the ones that land, land hard. And just when he looks like he’s got nothing left, he’s saved by the bell. He stumbles back to his corner and takes his seat. That’s when his trainer bends down, looks him right in the eyes and says, “Listen, there comes a time in a man’s life when he makes a decision to just live, to survive or he wants to win. You’re doing just enough to keep him off of you and hope he leaves you alone. You’re lying to yourself, but you’re going to cry tomorrow. You’re lying to yourself and I’d be lying if I let you get away with it. Do you wanna cry tomorrow? No? Then don’t lie to yourself anymore. There’s something wrong with this guy. Now back him up and fight a full round.”
That’s a true story. Our guy was Michael Moorer, the other guy was Evander Holyfield and the trainer was Teddy Atlas. Those were Teddy’s exact words and Moorer went on to win that fight and become the new heavyweight champion of the world.
There’s a reason that when discussing life, you’ll often hear people use boxing phrases like “Always go down swinging.” or “You gotta learn to roll with the punches.” It’s because boxing is a great metaphor for life. So today I thought we’d look at some of the ways they’re similar and learn a few things about life from the story I just told.
So is life really like a fight? I believe it is. Think about it, we’re always in one kind of fight or another. We fight for everything worth having, in fact it’s the fight itself that makes things worth having. Do you know why so many people win the lottery only to loose it all in a few short years, their lives usually ending up worse off than they were before their supposed good fortune? The reason is simple, they didn’t have to fight for it and so they had no appreciation for what it takes to earn that kind of money. They had no respect for it. Put simply, fighting is essential to life. It is through our struggles that we learn and become strong and gain confidence. Fighting is in our nature. It’s what the universe wants us to do. No one is born being super successful or completely good and honest. No one is born with all the qualities of a perfect parent or perfect spouse. Take any person who you look up to in life and I guarantee they’d tell you that they had to fight for what they have and where they’ve gotten.
There’s only one small problem, no one actually wants to fight. Our nature is only to survive. We will do whatever is necessary to ensure our basic survival. To meet our basic needs like food and shelter and relative comfort. Fighting asks us to go beyond that. Fighting is scary, it forces us out of our comfort zone and asks us to expend energy, to reach down deep, to face our demons and beat them into submission. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks, “Boy, I can’t wait to get into the ring of life today and get knocked around for several hours!” And yet that is exactly what is required. Just like our guy in the boxing story, we are faced with a choice. We can either do whatever is necessary to get by or we can fight with everything we’ve got. While doing only what is necessary sounds like the easy and therefore most attractive decision, I would argue that it’s actually the more difficult decision. Like Teddy said, “You’re lying to yourself and you’re gonna be crying tomorrow.” Because tomorrow and for the rest of your life you’ll have to live with the fact that you didn’t do everything you could have. You’ll know you could have done better and that you could be in a better place right now but you took the easy way out instead. It’s hard to find pride in that and all too easy to find regret. It’s much better and ultimately easier to dig deep, to fight hard for that short period of time and walk away now and forever a champion. Even if you loose, you win because you’ll know you gave it everything you had.
Now all that being said I fully understand that it’s easier said than done. I’ve always found inspirational speeches slightly annoying because I would end up thinking, “Wow, that sounds great and I’m definitely feeling motivated right now but what happens the next time I know I should fight but I can’t seem to find the willpower to do it? Then I’ll feel even worse about myself!” This is a great point. After all, we all know what we should be doing, the problem is making ourselves do it on a regular basis. I think the reason you never hear about that part in those motivational speeches is because it’s a truly difficult question and there’s no easy, inspiring answers; at least none that I’ve found. The best answer I can give you is going to sound cheap and like a gimmick, but it’s the truth. Keep reading this blog. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep moving towards your goals. The truth is that there are no easy answers. The truth is that you’re more than likely to fail sometimes, to refuse the call to fight. You must learn to be okay with that. It’s not worth celebrating, but constantly beating yourself up is no good either. We must learn to love ourselves, flaws and all. Another important rule in fighting is that when you get knocked down you must get back up, brush yourself off and get back in the fight. I’m not asking you to become the world heavyweight champion overnight, I’m asking you to fight. Fight whenever you can and however you can. For some of us the fight might be to go from a five figure salary to a six figure salary and for others it might just be finding the motivation to get out of bed and make yourself lunch or take a shower. Wherever you find yourself on that spectrum, you must be willing to incorporate a fighting spirit. Believe in yourself, in your own inherent worth and in your ability to become better. The rest may come slowly but if you’re patient and persistent, I promise you it will come. Don’t give up now, after all, this is the fight of your life.
Author’s note: Eventually I plan on writing another article going over some of Teddy Atlas’s most inspiring quotes. The man has a gift for inspiration. In the meantime, for those looking for a little more inspiration, I’ve included this video of Teddy discussing some similar themes to the ones we touched on today. Remember that in life, just like in boxing, it’s important to have the right people in your corner. I’m grateful if you’ve chosen me to be one of those people.
